


I made my choice

by Katzumi_san



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Clay | Dream did a fuck up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mentioned Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Protective Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, The i love you is platonic :), To be honest so did Tommy, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Tubbo needs a break, friends should be allowed to say i love you period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27862869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzumi_san/pseuds/Katzumi_san
Summary: This is as to current events of December second.Tubbo is against the sword and the wall, on one hand he has a nation to protect and on the other he has his best friend to protect,  he can't exile Tommy yet he can't allow Dream to take away their freedom.This is to much for Tubbo, he is tired, he wants to rest.Tubbo closed his eyes, he let the his weight carry him, the fresh air felt nice."TUBBO!!!!"It was to late to turn back.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 25
Kudos: 323





	1. Chapter 1

Tubbo didn't know what do, he couldn't exile Tommy yet he couldn't let L'manburg go into war again, he knew his country wouldn't stand a chance against Dream, they just didn't have the resources.

He had so many emotions to deal with right now, the most prominent of them all was anger or maybe it was disappointment perhaps even guilt, he had resolved everything in the most pacifist way he could, He even got the best possible outcome! Tommy just had to behave for one moment, just long enough for Dream to agree of the three week long probation and everyone could go their own merry way! But no ... Tommy just had to outsmart Dream didn't he? He just couldn't wait those three weeks, use them to plan his strike back so he and L'manburg could be safe! Why was Tommy so selfish?!

Tubbo sighed as much as he wanted to believe that he knew that wasn't true, it was Tommy who was selfless when he decided to give Dream his discs if that meant the freedom for L'manberg and his people, it was Tommy who has dropped everything when Tubbo was feeling down just to make him smile again, even Ranboo vouched for Tommy and how he protected him during the trial keeping his involvement a secret. Tommy is more selfless than he gets credit for and Tubbo knows that, he just wants someone to blame for what happened, he want to blame Dream for causing the chaos yet he had a reason he was defending a friend, he wanted to blame Tommy for being so childish and irresponsible but Tubbo knew he couldn't, Tommy had his reasons for doing what he did even the fire was accidental, he also wanted to blame Fundy and Quackity but he knew he couldn't either, even if they sided with Tommy's crazy idea they did so because they believed it was for the best, he could only blame himself for failing to lead them correctly.

This whole situation felt so suffocating, he couldn't give Dream what he wanted by exiling Tommy because that would be letting him win and lose his best friend and he couldn't refuse either since that would take the freedom away from his citizens, a freedom they have barely got to taste. Tubbo hid his face in his hands trying to think about what to do, he can try to fake it but Dream would find out eventually and the consequences would be even worse than an endless obsidian wall and guards killing them if they dare to step out from said wall, he felt so frustrated because no matter his choice there was no way to win, he had to make a choice and taking a deep breath gathering the little strength he had left, he made it.

First he left Quackity a note claiming that he was resigning and since Tommy could no longer be vice president and since he was covering up that duty and he was the president of mexican L'manberg he would now be president of normal L'manberg as well, after that he headed to Dream whispering him that he wanted to talk about the whole situation, that he made a decision.

Dream felt happy because he knew Tubbo would give in to him eventually that he would agree to exile Tommy, that's why he welcomed the former president into his home to talk just like he wanted. 

"So Tubbo, you've made your decision?" He looked at the kid to young too have lived war and too young to be president fidget with his fingers "I have" He replied, his tone was scaringly monotone, Dream expected him to sound sad, guilty, regretful yet he didn't expect to hear no emotion in his voice at all "I'll be honest Dream, this situation is to harsh, I can't sacrifice my best friend over my country and I can't sacrifice my country over my best friend" Tubbo looked at him dead in the eye or well where his eyes would be since Dream had his mask on "I give up on everything, I resigned, all of your concerns go to Quackity and Fundy now" that made Dream frown slightly under his mask.

"So that's it? You are just going to be a coward and let your burden onto someone else? You are not even going to try to find a solution? I expected more from you Tubbo" Dream knew his words were harsh, but he didn't want Tubbo to simply give up, after all the masked man loved the chaos this dilemma had caused, yet he never stopped to think how this would affect the people involved in it. He didn't expect the president to start laughing, less in such a bitter way "Are you really telling me I didn't try? I tried so hard Dream and you know that, I tried to resolve this peacefully, I tried to make everyone happy, I tried to keep everyone safe, I tried to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders! So don't you fucking dare tell me I didn't try because i did harder than everyone else and it still wasn't **enough!!** "

Dream's I am over all image was going to fall because of this kid, he was slowly seeing him fall into despair and he couldn't deny he was a big part of the reason that was happening, that thing that got to him most was seeing how Tubbo was falling apart, how his voice was becoming weaker and shaky, how the boy himself was shaking, he saw him grab his hair at the sides of his head with to much strength "Tubbo I-" the president wasn't listening he was getting lost in his own self doubt "I wasn't enough Dream! Is that what _You_ wanted to hear?!" Anything Dream was about to say died in his mouth "I wasn't enough and I'll never be enough, no matter what i choose someone will get hurt! So excuse me for being a coward for wanting the easy way out!!" Dream didn't like the sound of that, he got up to try and reach Tubbo only to get his hand slapped away "I don't need your fake pitty Dream, so keep it to yourself" 

Dream was hating hearing that shaky voice of a kid that use to be so happy, of a kid he was breaking apart. For the first time in years he felt frozen, he didn't know what to do or how to fix Tubbo if that was still even an option, he just saw him walk out "I'm tired Dream, of useless wars, of this continuos desire for power, of fucking having to take responsibility for a stupid fight over discs" He saw Tubbo take a deep breath, like he was trying to keep his voice from completely breaking, trying to keep those tears at the brink of his eyes in place until he could finally let it all out "I'm tired Dream, I am finally going to take a break from all of this .... I can't keep going" and with that Tubbo left, Dream remained on his place unsure if he should go after the boy or leave him alone, he just knew that he didn't like the sound of that break. It didn't sound like something that would last a few days but more like something permanent but Tubbo would never do that .... right?

Tubbo managed to calm down on the way back to L'manberg, after all he didn't want Tommy to suspect a thing, he didn't want anyone intervening. It took him a while to find his best friend but he did so eventually, he was sitting on their bench like they always did and Tubbo couldn't help the smile on his face as he sat down next to him, things had been tense but for a moment they could forget about it all, they could just pretend it was just the two of them in the world at least for a little while.

For a few minutes they stayed quiet looking into the horizon, Tubbo was the one to break the silence "Hey there Tommy" which was quickly replied by "Hey there big man" and soon they fell into silence again, the boy in the green shirt had to be careful with his words, if there was one person who could figure out what he was planning it was Tommy, after all the boy knew him better than anyone else did.

It was still a while before the sunset, before Tubbo finally could rest "I made a decision about what will happen to you Tommy" he could feel how his best friend tensed, after the fight they had well it wasn't very surprising that Tommy was prepared for the worst after all they both said some hurtful things "and what is it?" Tubbo noticed how his friend tried not to sound nervous yet after years of knowing him he could just tell "I can't exile you Tommy, you are my best friend ... it's always been just you and me since the beggining right?" The president felt warmth in his chest when his friend smiled and hugged him, it was really worth saying that to see Tommy's big bright smile one las time.

Tommy on the other hand had so much to say about how happy he was, how he made the right decision, how they will make it out together, how they will get the discs back and put everything behind them, but before he could Tubbo spoke "I'm sorry ... for you know everything, calling you selfish, putting you on probation, snapping at you and well not having your back when you needed me the most" Tubbo was really hoping Tommy would apologize as well, for his hurtful comments about not wanting Tubbo as president because he said it to many times for it to hurt or maybe apologize for creating the ruckus he did after the agreement was signed or even about telling him he would become the next Schlatt but that apology never came "oh don't worry about it big man! It's all in the past!!" Soon it will be is what Tubbo thought, he simply smiled back at the blond at least one of them could be happy and that was worth it.

They stayed on that bench for maybe an hour or two, Tubbo still hoped deep down that Tommy would apologize as well but that never happened, he just heard his friend ramble over the things they would do now that it's the two of them against the world again, how they could get the discs back, how the Spirit plan failed but that together they would come up with something even greater that would work! Tubbo felt guilty for letting Tommy believe he would be there next morning ready to put his plan back in action, but he thought it was to cruel to say it right to his face so he decided to let Tommy live in the sweet embrace of ignorance for a little while longer, what he didn't know couldn't hurt him.

The sun would be setting soon and Tubbo claimed that he was feeling too tired and that they could plan better tomorrow, of course Tommy was a bit surprised since his friend usually isn't tired at this hour the again he made a very though choice that might have been to straining and tiring for him. Tubbo hugged him one last time wanting this to be one of the last memories he was going to make and of course Tommy hugged him back with the same love and affection Tubbo did "I'll see you tomorrow alright Tubbo?" Tubbo used any strength he had left not to break apart right there and then "that's right, i'll see you tomorrow Tommy ... I love you" It was unusual for them to say this to each other but it wasn't unheard of "I love you too Tubbo, just don't tell anyone i said that" that gained him a little giggle from Tubbo "I won't, I promise" and with that they went their own ways, Tommy went home and Tubbo headed to the top of Eret's tower.

When Tubbo reached the top he sat down on the edge watching the start of the sunset, finally he allowed all the tears that he had been holding back to flow freely, thinking that maybe all presidents were cursed to die, Schlatt died of natural causes, Wilbur was murdered and he was about to commit suicide, his death feels like the most pathetic of them all at least the other two died fighting but he was dying to avoid the fight. Finally Tubbo could disassociate, simply take in the sunset and thinking how much he loved watching them, thinking of all the good moments he lived and all the ones that pushed him to do this, was he ready to jump? No, he wasn't but he wasn't ready to carry the weight of the world for another day.

Tubbo was so disassociated with his surroundings he didn't hear the hurried footsteps trying to get on top of the tower before he did something stupid, the boy with a heart of gold that had carried the weight of the world until he broke stood up on the edge and just as the last beams of sun fell so did Tubbo, he closed his eyes taking a step forward allowing his weight to carry him, he smiled thinking the fresh air against his face felt nice, He heard a voice, maybe two scream after him, he really couldn't tell.

" **TUBBO!!!!** "

They sounded desperate but it was already too late, Tubbo was falling, They didn't get here in time.


	2. And we made ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo made his choice, he chose to take his life away.
> 
> Dream and Tommy made their choice, they chose to save Tubbo from his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long wait here is the second and last part of this two shot, i feel really happy about the nice comments the first part have supporting me into writing the next one.
> 
> I thank you all for the support, the comments and the kudos, you are all wonderful people! That being said enjoy the chapter.

After Tubbo left his house Dream tried to ignore the little voice in his head telling him something was wrong, the way Tubbo spoke and the things he was implying didn't sit right with Dream, but what could he do? He wasn't his friend and he wasn't in good terms with Tubbo's friends either. He paced around his room thinking what should he do, if Tubbo could really take his life away like Dream was thinking he would or if he was taking this out of proportion, seeing red flags when there was really nothing to worry about.

Dream tried to distract himself of it all, he was walking towards George's and Sapnap's houses because surely their friends could make those thoughts go away, maybe they could even fish for a while and relax, yet he knew he was walking slower than usual because of that dreading feeling in his gut, he can't pretend that it isn't there screaming at him to go check on Tubbo. Dream wasn't someone magical who could predict the future, but his gut has never failed him before, the masked man stopped walking with a sigh turning around towards L'manberg, doing a small check wouldn't hurt anyone and in this case, it could save someone.

Getting into L'manberg was as easy as usual, Tubbo truly believed everyone could live in harmony without the need to be wearing an armor at all times, for the same reason there weren't any guards to alert the citizens their biggest enemy was there. Moving around the place after it was rebuilt was easy as well, you couldn't really get lost in the streets if you could call them that, Dream was able to find Tubbo's house and get in, just like the rest of the country it was unguarded.

"Tubbo?" Dream called out hoping to get a reply, to hear a surprised or even a scared squeak from the boy but he was met with absolute silence and that just made the dreading feeling in his gut worse, he really hoped he wasn't to late. "Tubbo?!" He called out a little louder, a little more panicked. "Listen if you come out right now i promise to take down the obsidian walls ok?" He was still met with silence which was making him anxious "I will even back down from exiling Tommy! You won't have to do that anymore! You win! Just come out please!" He kept talking to nothing as he searched the whole house for a trace of Tubbo but there was none "Please Tubbo ... don't do what I think you did" that time he spoke a little softer, knowing there was no one there to answer.

Dream took a deep breath walking out of Tubbo's house, come on Clay just think for a moment if he isn't home, Where else could he be? He walked around L'manberg thinking of the answer longer than he should've, there was only one other person Tubbo would be with if he felt bad enough to do the unthinkable. He quickly opened the comms sending a whisper to Tommy " _Is Tubbo with you?_ " Dream didn't really care what Tommy replied or if he replied at all, he was heading to his house anyways and he was praying to any god that may exist Tubbo was with him.

Tommy on the other hand was extremely happy that Tubbo chose him over Dream's demands, that he felt sorry for fighting and the probation! They even spent time together on the bench like they used to, it was like nothing ever happened to begin with, maybe his happiness was blinding him from seeing how tired and sad his best friend's eyes looked or how his smile looked a little forced like he didn't mean it. Tommy was already home preparing his plan to strike on Dream and get his disc back once and for all, of course he wouldn't just act on it before consulting it with Tubbo, he did learn his mistake from last time, however, his planning was stopped by a message of the green man himself.

" _Is Tubbo with you?_ " Tommy read outloud to himself, he was weirded out because there was not a single reason for Dream to be asking this, for all he knew their enemy already found out Tubbo wouldn't exile him and he wanted to hurt him so he replied quickly _"No and i won't tell you where to find him"_ he thought that would be enough to make Dream go away or at least get his focus on him and not his best friend, He really didn't expect Dream to suddenly enter his house searching for him. "What the fuck are you doing here?! Get out!!" Tommy immediately brought his sword out to defend himself against the biggest threat he has ever faced, however, said threat didn't seem to care about his presence at all.

Tommy only saw Dream frantically look for Tubbo in his house and for obvious reasons he didn't have any results. "Tommy I know you don't have a single reason to trust me, but i really need to know where Tubbo is, it's important" Tommy refused to lower his sword and trust his enemy, and why would he? Like his enemy said, he didn't have a single reason to trust him. "No! For all i know this is just another of your endless high IQ schemes to take more discs away from me and to hurt us!" Tommy dashed forward to attack Dream with his sword only for the masked man to bring out his own to block his attack.

"The discs aren't important right now! Tubbo is! I need to know where he is!" Dream used the sword currently blocking Tommy's to push the younger boy back. "Since when do you care about Tubbo?! You clearly haven't cared once before and I doubt you suddenly started doing so!" Tommy launched himself forward to attack again just for Dream to block him once more, he knew they didn't have time for this. "You have to trust me! I think Tubbo is trying to kill himself! He-" before Dream could continue the blond boy interrupted him "Why would i ever trust you?! The only thing you have ever cared about is having a war and all of the fucking discs!" He kept attacking as Dream kept defending "Besides i know Tubbo! He is my best friend and he would never do such a thing without me noticing! You chose the wrong thing to lie about Dream!!"

Dream had enough, he was quick to disarm Tommy and throw his sword away, he quickly placed down an ender chest getting Tommy's disc out and throwing it at him. "Have the disc! I don't care! I really think Tubbo is trying to end himself and I won't stand by and let that happen because you don't believe me! So have the disc! You won! Now tell me where is Tubbo?!" Tommy looked at the disc in his hands with disbelief, it wasn't a fake, it was actually his disc, Dream was really giving up "Wa-wait you are serious? Tubbo is trying to kill himself?" He couldn't believe that either, Tubbo was always the happy one, the positive, the cheerful teen who loves bees, the one who was always smiling and there to support them. How can someone like that even think about suicide? Well, people often forget even the most optimistic person can reach a breaking point and Tubbo finally reached his.

There was a moment of silence between the two former enemies, one hoping the other would believe him and the other debating whether or not this was all an elaborated ruse. Tommy put the disc away looking at Dream, in any other circumstances he wouldn't have trusted the masked man, but if he was right then his best friend's life was in danger and he refused to be a reason for Tubbo losing his life "Let's find Tubbo" they gave each other a nod before heading out searching for Tubbo, running along L'manberg as fast as they possibly could only to stop dead in their tracks when they saw a figure sitting on top of Eret's tower they both muttered a small "shit" at the same time before they ran off towards the tower.

They helped each other climb the tower as fast as they could, their legs hurt from running around L'manberg in search of the boy with the green shirt but that didn't matter, if they could make it in time then the pain would be worth it. During a small misstep Tommy slip and he knew very well the fall wouldn't kill him but it was going to make a lot of damage, yet he never got a chance to fall as a hand grabbed his wrist pulling him back up quickly, that's when he knew for sure Dream was serious because if he wasn't he simply would've let him fall, they continued to climb as fast as they could screaming Tubbo's name, hoping he would stop if he heard them ... sadly they realized that wasn't the case when they reached the top.

" **TUBBO!!!** "

Everything felt like it was in slow motion as they saw Tubbo's body fall, Dream froze in place thinking he was to late, that there was nothing he could do. Tommy on the other hand didn't even think before acting, his legs moved on his own and before he knew it he had jumped after Tubbo's limp body reaching out for him and hugging his best friend to his chest, shifting in the air so he would be the one to take the fall, but that fall never came. Dream managed to snap back to the real world when Tommy jumped after his best friend to protect him, he quickly searched on his inventory for anything that could help him and he saw his fishing rod, without a second thought he took it throwing the line after them and when he saw the hook get stuck in Tommy's shirt he pulled it back up sending both kids towards the sky reading himself to catch them.

Tommy had no idea what had happened, one moment he was falling with Tubbo towards the ground and then they were jerked towards the sky only to fall back down into Dream's arms who fell to the ground of the roof as they fell into his arms. He was quick to put them down and to check up on both of them after all he wasn't about to be responsible for the death of one teen but of two of them "Tommy what were you thinking?!" The younger boy was feeling the biggest rush of adrenaline he has ever gone through "I wasn't" he was trying to catch his breath "I really wasn't it was just an impulse" Dream swears he was about to have a heart attack. Their attention moved onto Tubbo who seemed to be unconscious "Dream what's wrong?! Why isn't he awake?!" 

Tommy never thought he would be looking at Dream for answers, but life is never what you expect it to be. Dream didn't answer right away, he put his ear to Tubbo's chest smiling with relief when he heart his heart still beating "He is alive, maybe he is unconscious because of a body mechanism, maybe his body caught up to what he was doing and it didn't want him to suffer" Tommy felt so relieved to hear his best friend, someone he considered practically a brother was still alive, he was this close to bursting into tears of joy but he could do that later after making sure Tubbo was completely okay, not just alive. Dream put Tubbo on his back to give him a piggyback ride down the tower making sure he wouldn't fall with one hand, with his free hand he took Tommy's to guide him back down as well getting a confused face from the young blond "I don't want't you slipping again, don't think to much about it" Tommy simply nodded, after what happened it wasn't the moment to question Dream's sudden change in his behaviour. 

The three of them made it down safely with no more missteps or slip ups, they headed towards Tubbo's house to get him in bed so he could rest until he woke up. They lit up the fireplace, filled some glasses with water for Tubbo for when he wakes up and a few for them, they also began to prepare some bread in case Tubbo was hungry. It was odd working in such a calm manner with someone who was a war enemy just about an hour ago, they shouldn't be surprised though, after all Tubbo simply seems to have a talent for bringing people together.

It was a few hours of soft chatter between Dream and Tommy before Tubbo woke up, he expected to wake up as a ghost like Wilbur or not to wake up at all like Schlatt but he didn't expect to wake up in his warm bed, heating the small flickers of the fire as his best friend and their worst enemy spoke like they've been friends for years, like the war never really happened, he thought he must really be dead if those two were getting along. Tubbo tried to speak and get their attention only to cough, his throat felt to dry, that immediately got the attention of the blondes Tommy getting up to get him a glass of water which he took with a small thank you.

The former president was worried, he didn't feel any part of his body in pain or any bandages around his body which meant he never hit the ground ... it also meant Dream and Tommy caught of to what he was doing and stopping him just in time. After drinking water Tubbo cleared his throat "I .... I suppose I own you an explanation don't I?" The blondes looked at each other before shaking their head, they sat near Tubbo's bed "Maybe you do, just not right away Tubbs, give yourself a little more time to recover ok?" Tubbo nodded at Dream's surprisingly calm and kind voice, he just attempted suicide he shouldn't be spoken like that right? "Are you hungry? Do you need more water?" Tubbo nodded "More water and some food do sound nice" he knew he didn't sound happy and cheery as usual, but he just wasn't feeling like that and after what they saw there was no use in pretending anymore.

The blondes provided what he needed, they stayed beside him as he sat up to wat some bread and drink some water, the silence in the room was making him nervous, Are they mad at him? Of course they are, once again he failed to do the right choice, Why couldn't he do anything right? He couldn't even kill himself correctly. Tommy was desperate for answers, for an explanation but Dream put a hand on his shoulder as he took his mask of so he could see his eyes silently telling him to let him handle this, at least for now that is.

"Tubbo it's okay, we aren't mad. We are actually really worried, we don't know ehat pushed you to do what you did, but we really want to understand." Dream spoke softly, with a care in his tone neither of them have heard before "Please Tubbo, explain to us what happened so we can help you" the broken boy refused to meet their eyes, he didn't want to see their pity because he knew that's what they were feeling. Tubbo felt like they didn't care about what had caused it, they just didn't want to carry any guilt if they were partially responsible and if Tubbo was being honest, they were very much responsible for his decision, but he couldn't say that because they had reasons for doing what they did, valid reason for what they have done, But Tubbo's reasons? He was just too weak.

It was minutes of silence before the brown haired boy laughed in a bitter way "You want to know what happened? Since when do you care? From Tommy i understand it, But from you? I don't get it, you started a war Dream you didn't care who got hurt, hell you blew up L'manberg but suddenly you care if I got hurt?" Dream swallowed hard, Tubbo was usually an open person about his feelings, he never expected him to answer like that "But if you want an answer, why i tried to commit suicide? Well that's simple, I was to weak to handle things like you or Tommy or literally anyone else in this land would've handled it"

Tommy's heart felt like it could break, he would never even think of Tubbo as someone weak, he knew this was his fault somehow or that at least he had some fault in it "I'm sorry Tubbo" his best friend looked at him slightly confused, for once Tommy realised how empty and dead his eyes looked, How long have they looked like that? Was he really so focused in some stupid discs to realize the person he cares about the most in this world was falling apart? "It's okay Tommy, you didn't do anything wrong. I just should've been stronger or smarter not to try something as stupid as killing myself" once again he heard that empty laugh "I was an idiot for thinking i could get away with it without you noticing"

That was the worst part of it all "I didn't notice ... Dream did, if it wasn't for him I would've lost you." He sounded remorseful, Dream squeezed his shoulder gently in an attempt to comfort him. Tubbo was surprised to hear it was Dream who realized what he was doing not Tommy, which also meant that it was Dream who got Tommy to help find and save him from his own actions "Tubbo i understand you are doubting me, that i am trying to use this for a future scheme. But i care, i really do and i won't just stand by and see you die when i can do something about it" He really wanted the brown haired boy to realize this was no longer a game for power, it was genuine worry.

"Tubbo you are my best friend, you are practically a brother to me. I beg you, please tell me why you did that." Tommy knew his Tubbo wasn't weak so he wanted to know the real reason, he didn't understand that for the smaller boy that was the reason, that in his mind that was the reality. "I already told you I was weak, i was too weak to choose between you or L'manberg, i was too weak to continue being president, too weak to keep carrying L'manberg into a brighter future, too weak to finish Wilbur's symphony ... I was simply too weak to keep trying" hearing that from his best friend who is usually so bright and happy was devastating, Tubbo was alive right in front of him, he and Dream saved him but he sounded so ... dead.

Dream cleared his throat to call their attention "I know this question will be personal but for your health i do have to ask, Tubbo you attempted suicide, did you attempt self-harm before deciding to do that?" Tubbo sighed at the question looking around the room, always trying to avoid Dream's eyes "Well if you want me to be honest the idea did cross my mind a few times, not as a way to distract myself from the world but to punish myself for not being enough and for being so weak" a small part of Tubbo's heart broke when he heard Tommy's gasp, his best friend just couldn't believe he missed do many things that were destroying his best friend mentally because of some stupid discs. "Don't worry much about it, I never got enough courage to actually do it"

Dream knew he did a lot of wrongs to push a kid to suicide, with all the things he's done he might have pushed him from the top of the tower himself, it was time to make his wrongs rights "Tubbo, former president of L'manberg, i hereby surrender from the disc war that started all this mess. I take back any threat i declared, Tommy no longer needs to be exiled or put in probation and i will personally take down the obsidian walls" Dream moved onto the bed to give the broken boy "None of that is worth more than your life" Tubbo wanted to push Dream away but he couldn't find it in himself to do it, he didn't realize how badly he needed a comfort hug until he got one, even so he didn't hug back he was to busy fighting the tears trying to escape. 

Tommy stood up showing Tubbo the disc "Dream gave me this when he told me that he thought you were going to kill yourself ... this made me believe him because why else would he give me something so important" he looked at the disc in his hands and then and the lighted fireplace "But you know, you were right. It's just a disc, it shouldn't be so important, not to decide what happens to a nation and especially not to decide whether you live or not" Without a second thought Tommy threw the disc into the fireplace sitting on the other side of Tubbo's bed and joining the hug "A disc will never be more important you for me, you are above it all big man."

Having his best friend hug him as well made the chocolate hair boy feel overwhelmed, he slowly moved his hands to hug them back and put his head between their shoulders. After so long Tubbo finally allowed himself to break, to sob as loudly as he had to, because for once he didn't have a reason to keep hiding it, to keep pretending everything was perfectly fine when that couldn't be further away from the truth. He has no idea how long he spent sobbing all of his emotions out, it could've been a few minutes or a few hours the only thing he knew was that Tommy and Dream didn't leave his side, not even for a second, the blondes stayed there hugging him until he didn't have any more tears to spill, they just kept whispering supportive words.

"It's okay to cry Tubbs, just let everything out."

"We are here big man, you won't have to go through anything by yourself ever again."

"You have us now Tubbo, no need to keep bottling things up."

"You don't have to hide your problems anymore, we can help you."

"You won't carry the weight of the world on your own anymore, we will help you carry it."

"It's okay to not feel okay, that's what makes you human"

None of them noticed how emotionally tiring the situation was for all of them, Tubbo was slowly but surely crying himself to sleep while the other two refused to let go of Tubbo until he felt better, this led to the three of them falling asleep hugging each other, Tubbo safely between their arms. The psychological state of Tubbo wasn't going to be magically healed by a hug and some nice words but it was a start, it was going to take a long time for him to actually heal from those self deprecating thoughts, for him to learn that he can talk about his problems because bottling them up was just going to make it worse, for him to understand that he is not alone, that he is loved.

But that's a problem for tomorrow, today they can just worry about sleeping comfortably and making each other feel loved, safe and appreciated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that this little two shot is finished, you could say it's an open ending i leave it up to you and your imagination how Tubbo got therapy and how he began to heal.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this, remember to take care of yourself, seek help if you need it, you are loved, you are needed and you are wanted.
> 
> Have a nice day.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a probably second part to this one shot but i don't really know if i should do it so depending on the opinion yall have there will or will not be a second and final part.
> 
> If you did like it please leave a comment, anything you may have to say is important to me. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


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